Loud Mind/ Quiet Mouth

It has dawned upon me recently, that the loud, brash, outgoing person has morphed in to someone quite different in entirety...

Growing up in the world of performing arts, you'd see a slew of people from all walks of life. The ones you would likely pay attention are the ones who appear to take the biggest risks to convey the role they are assigned to.

My issue was never talking too little. In fact, I could not stop doing so. A jarring act for many, yet my confidence would block that part of the picture for me. Life has a funny way of teaching experience; as you find that you often take the test before you learn the lesson...

I was used to being the centre of attention as a youth and would get a certain level of treatment due to my "don't give two fu**s" attitude. I would run through conversations without giving a second thought to allowing others to speak as it was all about me! Being an only child can affect that too.

Growing up, being in social and work related events. I found more and more that I was becoming a person who did not care to be giving my opinion, much -- if at all. This was a comforting thought.

The once brazen and bold performer had become an introvert... Somehow this seemed like a natural growth, something which had been needed for some time.

Do you ever have the feeling of being in a crowd but being totally alone?

The feeling I face often.

I have a number of people I mix with on a daily basis- who are comfortable in large capacity settings, but honestly, I function better in my own space.
A sense of freedom to do as I wish and perform to the best of my abilities, unaffected by the social constraints placed before many other people.

It is seen as weird, but a normal person I have never claimed to be. I am creative, dynamic, charismatic, a visionary, open and honest, but normal? No... I do not subscribe to the term.

It is such a liberating thing, to not feel pressured to live up to the expectations of the herd. To live to your demands (in a personal sense) is a feeling of control.

I will be the one who drops unique jewels and the one who refused to agree with the mass opinion as I stand behind my beliefs with confidence. No amount of peer pressure can take away a real gut feeling. Get to know!

Do Not Let Life Get The Better Of You

They say "you are what you eat", so if I eat porridge, honey, peanut butter and banana, then that must make me a mixed up breakfast kinda geezer right?

Surely looking after oneself creates inner and outer strength.
Therefore, temple abuse is not gonna happen... Or is it? Or has it even?

Yeah it has.

You know that time you chose to binge drink over eating rabbit food or that time you od'd on meth? Sis, bruv, sort it out!!!

The body is a complex system of fibres, nerves, organs, hairs, you name it; however, to get the most out of it, we have to ensure what goes in to it gives us an easy ride.

I had a trip to the GP in Dec 2015 and that was the wake up call needed to change my mindset.

I found that I was clinically obese. I tubby mofo if you will. Belly extending as far as platform 11 at King's Cross St.Pancras station. I told myself that something had to give.

UPDATE: What can I say? I WAS on the right path... and what does life go and do? It gets the better of me. When you allow stress to get on top of you, it can consume your whole being. What begins as a minor issue soon escalates in to a full blown episode, one of which can be hard to see beyond.

If you are feeling down, it is quite easy to stay stuck in that mode if you don't have the capacity to make amendments to your situation. Long story short, I was employed by a company where I was unhappy for the longest time, but decided to stick at it... you know, persevere, stack money and what not. Little did I know that tolerating the same mundane culture would eventually cause me a "stack" of stress. In life, if you continue to do things which make you unhappy and you force yourself to believe you are making the best of a bad situation, you will do exactly that... Remain in the bad situation.